The Boy in the Yellow Shirt


There is a phenomenon known as “kid envy”. You know…it is that feeling…”Boy, I wish my kid had entered that essay contest and won a trip to Washington, DC” or “Karen’s daughter has the best manners…I wonder how she did that” or “little Elliot over there goes and visits strangers in the nursing home and actually converses with them.” Kid-envy. If you’re an honest mother, you have felt it too. By contrast there is also an occurrence know as “Whew-I-am-glad-that-is-not-my-kid”. This is a story about the latter.

Upon arriving at the local state park for the end-of-year 2nd and 3rd grade field trip, I was greeted with enthusiastic cries of “I’m glad you are here, Mom. I’ve already eaten my lunch. Bye, Mom.” My eight year old child, Will, then runs off to play among the other 120 children on the playground. I go to converse with some of the women who are my friends as well as Will’s teachers. An hour goes by and then I notice that a park ranger is striding purposefully toward the covey of teachers and me. She informs us that someone has been dialing 911 on the pay phone by the drink machines. She would like for the teachers to address this problem since it is a matter of serious repercussions, especially if the EMS and paramedics show up for a hoax call.

All six teachers rise at once and advance to the drink machines to investigate. Their investigation turns up three third grade girls who report that “some boy in a yellow shirt” is the culprit and they just watched him dial 911. Upon hearing “yellow shirt” I immediately tune out the rest of the report because my one and only charge of the day, Will, is wearing a bright orange shirt. “Whew-I-am-glad-that-is-not-my-kid.”

A mere five minutes pass and Will’s teacher, Mrs. F., motions me to come over. She has Will with her and she is postured for interrogation. From across the playground I mime, “Is Will involved?” She shakes her head affirmatively. I slink towards them.

“Will, did you call 911 on the phone?”
“I didn’t know.”
“Will, did you call 911?”
“I didn’t know.”
“Will?”
“I didn’t put any money in the phone.”
“But you did dial 911.”
“Yes.” Head hung low.

After the confession and the subsequent elaborate explanations by Mrs. F. and myself about how pay phones can and do work even without money especially for cases of true emergencies, Will was released into the custody of his friends on the swings whose only remarks were “Hey, Will, are you in trouble?”

All I can say is, “Bless his heart.” There isn’t a malicious bone in his body. Mischievous. Yes. Malicious. No. His mother was obviously remiss in his “street education.” We had not gone over the operations of pay phones. We had talked about the need and use for 911. And I know that he would never dial 911 from a regular phone or even a cell phone unless it was a true emergency. At home, I have to beg him just to pick up the cordless phone and run it to me, because he doesn’t like to answer a ringing telephone. In fact, Mrs. F. informed me that the fire department had just had a program two days ago at school concerning the use of 911. The children were instructed on when and when not to call 911. I wonder what my child was doing during that assembly…After further investigation into the 911 incident, it was revealed that Will had only dialed 911 one time and when the operator answered, he panicked, hung up and ran away leaving the three girls…the three older girls …at the phone to answer the 911 operator who was calling back. They subsequently hung up on the operator several more times which I am sure just ticked the operator off even more. Thus the reason the State Park Ranger had been notified.

Moral to the story?
1. Don’t show out for older girls. It will get you into trouble every time.
2. Do not neglect the street education of your children. It will get you into trouble.
3. Do not dial 911 haphazardly. It will get you into trouble.
4. Third grade girls do not know their colors yet.