Can You Spell Multitasking? …mul•ti•task•ing

This new hip word has made the big times. Not only is multitasking an entry in
the dictionary, it is being studied by the brightest psychologists of our times. By definition multitasking is “the concurrent operation by one central processing unit of two or more processes.” In this context it can either mean the computer sitting on most of our desks or the most complicated hard drive of all – our big beautiful brain.

In our evolving society, most folks recognize multitasking simply as the art of performing myriad tasks all at once. As the writer of the article, “Executive Control of Cognitive Processes in Task Switching” clearly indicates, multitasking is not all it’s cracked up to. Rubenstein, Meyer and Evans purport that our little ole frontal and parietal lobes can not shift quickly enough from one set of rules to another when dividing tasks thus instead of saving time, we actually lose time.
Journal of Experimental Psychology - Human Perception and Performance, Vol 27. No.4 http://www.apa.org/journals/xhp/press_releases/august_2001/xhp274763.html

I say, “Did you have mothers in your test group?” I think not. Name me one mother who hasn’t boiled the water for macaroni and cheese, grilled the hamburgers, all the while folding the clothes fresh out of the dryer, helping her ten-year old with her fourth grade leaf collection, while keeping an eye on Katie Couric and the evening news? Or the working mother who can check out her stock portfolio, type a business proposal, freshen up her lip gloss all the while exacting a certain amount of discipline over the phone to her thirteen-year old twins fighting over the use of the single computer at home? Or how about the chauffeuring mother who is not only driving her children to school but is able to write a check for lunch money, drill the eight-year old in the back seat on his multiplication tables, and manage to take an occasional sip of her lukewarm coffee, while waving to the school crossing guard?

And I haven’t even begun to address the young mothers with a handful of children under the age of five. Let me clue you in to the highly specialized multitasking capabilities of that woman! She can breast feed the baby, while feeding the two-year old animal crackers and maintaining a running commentary on Mr. Rogers, all the while coaching the five-year old on tying his shoes. Not to mention, she just started the fourth load of clothes for the day and is making the grocery list with her one unoccupied hand. Juggling doesn’t begin to describe her day.

Why, I would even wager that Eve (mother of us all) in her day was a multi-tasker. I can just imagine her stirring the pot of stew, while plucking the chicken, stuffing a pillow with the feathers and swatting Cain on the backside all the while holding a baby in her primitive Snuggli. Can’t you?

And lest you think mothers are alone in this multitasking society, well let’s just say, “Multitasker beget multitasker.” We are certainly rearing a generation of multitasking kids. Name me the child today who cannot, eat popcorn, drink a Coke, play Spyro on PlayStation, talk on the cell phone to his buddy and occasionally throw a nugget of information to his mother down the hall, who is asking how his day was at school. All simultaneously!

However, we mutitaskers may have raised the bar too high. I mean let’s face it. We can work circles around our parental partner (notice I’m being nice and didn’t use the word “man”). And after working at such a fevered pace all day, the productivity of a multitasker may be called into question, when we simply slow down to focus on one task. But like our computer counterpart, sometimes even the best-multitasking mother simply needs to reboot!

The Thong

Unfortunately or fortunately depending on your perspective, I am in the business where I get to see a lot of bottoms. A few weeks ago I arranged for my 15 year old daughter, Emily, to shadow a fellow co-worker of mine, Teena. Now granted, Teena works in a different setting than I do, but the take-home message for Emily was…and I quote, “I just saw way too many hind-ends today.” Teena works at our local hospital. And Emily may never work in the health care field ever… after her lovely experience. I think she suffered from too much gluteal exposure.

So…it got me to thinking…how many back-ends do I see in any given day? Five? Seven? I started to count…and then the bigger question was…how many thongs had I seen today. Anything over one is way too many. I am a woman… and I occasionally like to appear sexy, but Pleeeeeaze! Do you have to wear a thong to therapy? I do not want to move your little piece of dental floss around while I try to fix your painful condition. And I sure hope you’re not wearing it to impress me…Yuck! Save your thongs for Saturday nights and the second honeymoons. Give your healthcare provider some good old fashioned white undies. We appreciate it! Really!